The idea of “letting a dog be a dog” sounds wholesome. Who doesn’t want their dog to enjoy life, romp around, and express natural instincts?
But here’s the reality: dogs live in a human world. Our choices, our environments, and our expectations all impact them. Without context, feedback, or structure, “letting a dog be a dog” often backfires. Instead of giving freedom, it creates stress, frustration, and limitations.
The Parenting Analogy: Kids Will Be Kids
Think about kids in a restaurant. We have all seen parents shrug and say, “Kids will be kids,” while their child runs around screaming. Are they wrong? Kids do push limits. But most parents also teach that there is a time and place. Running and yelling at the playground is perfect. In a restaurant, not so much.
Why should dogs be any different? Barking, lunging, and pulling are natural dog behaviors, but that does not mean they cannot learn regulation. Structure does not erase their personality. It gives them the tools to function in different settings.
The Fairness of Feedback
Some people say they will only use the e-collar for emergencies, like a last-resort recall. At first glance, that sounds fair. Save the tool for the big stuff. But from the dog’s perspective, it is confusing.
Imagine a teenager who sneaks out every weekend and never faces a consequence. Then one night, they suddenly get grounded for a month. Would that feel consistent? Probably not.
Dogs need patterns. Small mistakes call for small corrections. Bigger mistakes call for bigger ones. That is how fairness works. When the rules are consistent, dogs understand why an emergency-level correction is serious. Without daily context, those moments do not make sense to them.
Structure Creates True Freedom
It is easy to confuse structure with restriction. In reality, structure is what makes freedom possible.
My own dogs get to live big, full lives. They go off leash. They come everywhere with me. They can stay neutral in crowds, around other dogs, or in new environments. Why? Because they have practiced expectations. They have learned how to regulate themselves. And because of that, I trust them and they trust me.
Without that structure, their world would be much smaller. They would have to be left at home more often, kept on short leashes, or restricted from situations where they could otherwise thrive. What looks like “freedom” without rules usually ends up being chaos.
Another Analogy: Driving and Consequences
Driving gives us another lens. We all understand the balance of risk and consequence.
Go 5 miles over the speed limit and maybe nothing happens.
Go 40 miles over and you are getting a hefty ticket.
Weighing those risks is what makes us adjust. Dogs think the same way. If ignoring commands never carries a consequence, why should they take the command seriously? Once the “rules of the road” are clear, a single meaningful correction for something dangerous makes sense. It is not random. It is part of the system they already understand.
Emotional Regulation: The Hidden Gift
Beyond obedience, consistent feedback teaches emotional regulation. Many untrained dogs live in a constant state of arousal, reacting to every sound, every person, every distraction. That is exhausting for them and for their owners.
Clear expectations reduce stress. Dogs learn when to engage, when to settle, and how to be neutral. A dog who can regulate their emotions lives a calmer, more enjoyable life. And that balance opens the door for more inclusion in everyday activities.
Perspective Is Everything
Everyone gets to decide what kind of relationship they want with their dog. If someone is genuinely happy with theirs, that is what matters most.
But “letting dogs be dogs” does not have to mean letting them run wild. It can mean giving them the structure to safely experience more of life. It can mean helping them build coping skills so they are not overwhelmed by the world. It can mean teaching them, just as we teach kids, that there is a time and place for everything.
Because when dogs know the rules, they are calmer, they are freer, and they are included in more of life’s moments. That to me is the real gift of training.